One problem facing us in dealing with fear and insecurity is that they exist for very real and natural reasons. But the case of self-doubt is unique in that our goal is not to totally re-move it but to distinguish natural self-doubt from its counterproductive twin sibling, unnatural self-doubt, and to then work to re-move all traces of the unnatural kind.
Having a bit of natural self-doubt is a part of a healthy consciousness. It keeps us from being egomaniacal and so sure of ourselves that we do not consider alternative possibilities to the way we are basically inclined to see things, especially the ideas and feelings of other people.
Natural self-doubt may also exist in us because in the past we did not live up to our own expectations. We are afraid that we will again feel as terrible as we felt the last time we let ourselves down. And so we become a bit apprehensive that we may again do something wrong that will result in our feeling uncomfortable. It's a natural self-defense mechanism against feeling pain based on our innate knowledge that we can take measures to control how we feel.
An example of natural self-doubt is our being overly cautious while driving our car following the recent occurrence of either an actual accident or a near miss that was due to something we know we did wrong.
Natural self-doubt is a part of being a human being. We are self-correcting, learning, growing things that learn from our mistakes thereby giving those mistakes great value and meaning. We must use natural self-doubt as the tool it is and not be crippled by it.
But there is also un-natural self-doubt. Un-natural self-doubt exists when we are afraid of the reoccurrence of a time when we let someone else down, though we ourselves were doing what was right for us. It's hard enough to live up to our own expectations. Trying to live up to other people's expectations is impossible and a waste of time. I cannot stress strongly enough that until we stop allowing yourself to be paralyzed by our worrying about how other people are going to feel about us and what we do, we are never going to get anywhere.
An example of un-natural self-doubt is when we are driving in an overly cautious manner because one or more of our passengers will harass and ridicule us unless we drive that way. We can gently but firmly remind our passenger(s) that we are the captain of our ship and their agreeing to ride with us constitutes their approval of our driving abilities. If they persist you can point out the availability of alternative forms of transportation.
One surprisingly effective tool you can use to help you re-program your conscious and unconscious flow of thoughts and images is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you notice you are allowing un-natural self-doubt or any other kind of habitual negative thoughts to clutter up your mind, Snap It! This little zap will bring you back into the present and works as a signal to you and your unconscious mind to replace your negative thoughts with healthy, positive thoughts. This is a simple way to recondition yourself to think more positively.
We have lots of other techniques and you can find them in our books which are available from your local bookstore, online, or on our very own Enchanted World shelf in the Spirituality section of every Barnes and Noble store in the world. I remember when we started Quantum Affirming that we were going to have our own shelf in every B&N store and even contacted an agent about trying to do it but he thought it was impossible. We've had them for over ten years now. Quantum Affirmations work!!!!!
