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DEALING WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS


Are you "a hard act to follow," setting a high bar for your children, siblings, co-workers, business associates or friends to equal, let alone surpass? Or are you following a hard act, amazing parents, relatives, siblings, co-workers, business associates or friends, and judging your achievements and even your everyday life against that of someone you admire? I guess we could even throw in judging one's life against anyone, no? There's no way we can never, ever judge our life against that of someone else but when we do, it's important to remember that each of us, from the least to the most "successful," are fighting our own private war, I've got mine you've got yours and they, no matter who "they" is (are?), are fighting theirs, too. I've known and worked closely with a lot of famous and wealthy people and they have plenty of problems, fame and wealth bring their own specialized problems, just like poverty, and those are added to the basic ones each and every human being has. But getting back to hard acts to follow, if it's you who is the hard act to follow then please take a minute to read this and see if you can shut off your ego enough to the point where you can see that you have to bring others into your achievements, helping them to see how they are helping you to do what you do, or else you are going to end up with children who, if they don't outright despise you, they are going to despise themselves for not being able to be good enough to the point where you welcomed them into your process and so how could they ever come anywhere close to your achievements, which can be anything from a happy marriage to ruling the world or a part of it. You don't have to be rich to be a hard act to follow. Plenty of people without loving relationships have parents who had great relationships and so each and every potential partner is measured against what may be an impossible standard. Remember, when each of us came into our parents relationship, they had been together for a time and had pretty much established the rhythm that they would only amplify as time went on. The problems of the early days of their relationships were behind them when you were born, so the problems their children are facing in the establishing of relationships are usual and customary, even for the greatest relationship (mine! ahem!!!) Only when we are committed to growing into the best person we are capable of becoming can we put behind us the fear of not measuring up to someone else, the proper place for it because it can help push us to become who we really are, once we understand what it is for, i.e.; motivation, not condemnation.

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